Sunday, March 1, 2009

Monsoon Mud On Vacant Swings

Growing up I knew a boy... we hung out a lot. Like shadows to one another..and reflections in a mirror. He was kind , soft , vulnerable , gentle , quiet and craved to be accepted. He was a dreamer lost in a playground. He loved his people.. he trusted easily. He hoped for the best. Hoping life would be everything he pictured it would be...As he grew , I grew. We got to know each other better. He loved his home, he loved his family. He chose to see the good in everyone. One day he decided he was too quiet.... and he wanted to be accepted..He craved it since I've known him...He wanted it bad. He decided he would talk..work on his social act. He decided he was going to take charge of his life..That's when I saw him slipping away from me. Slowly we drifted apart. He was the cool kid phased into teenage ..psyched about the unknown adventure that lay ahead. He met people..he charmed them. He got a close set of friends and felt invulnerable.He met a few girls along the way....he fell in love twice....After heartbreaks and episodes he pushed himself further...he lost a few friends along the way..gained new ones..he faced new challenges as everyone does...somewhere along the way..he remembered me..he said he missed having me around..he said he felt incomplete and that I'd understand..it had been so long since I'd heard from him...and I was glad...I felt his anguish , his pain ..his loneliness ... I understood. I wanted to tell him I've been there all along..that I was with him through it all...I heard he left a few months ago...he left home... to study..I hear from him now and then...it seems like I can see it all happen like it happened yesterday..His eyes filled with memories...his tears fall at times trying to forget the painful one's ....his smile trying to preserve a few nice one's ...He wrote now and then..I read his words like they were mine...I understood every punctuation , every line...He reached out to me after years...I guess Its up to me now..I know him best..I can help him...I hope he listens..he's always been real stubborn..but i know how to pull his cord..I'll reel him in...I guess even though he's the loud one..I'm the stronger of the two...funny. He leans on me to bail him out..I've never failed him before..I hope I can pull him through again...He has faith in me...he looks at me pleadingly... he says I'm his rock...that he should have never let go off me back then..and that may be he was meant to be more like me...I told him its fine..he did what he did..to fit in...and that all he needs now is a balance of things....
I hope I can give it to him....

Growing up I knew a boy... we hung out a lot. Like shadows to one another..and reflections in a mirror...

sometimes the only person you can count on is you...